shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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