i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
