i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize