U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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