its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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