Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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