Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
