I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
