I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
