so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
