His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Your penis caused this!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
