I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
