farters have to be the big spoon...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
