brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
