we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
