either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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