Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize