so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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