Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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