I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize