I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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