trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
