I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
