In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
