I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
