worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
