weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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