we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
