He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
