If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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