absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize