I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
