areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
