the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
