just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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