I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
