Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
