Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
