Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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