Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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