If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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