She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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