she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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