her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
