really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
