i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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