also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
