Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
