You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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