I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
