Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
