I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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