i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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