I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
