lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
