nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
