College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
