My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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