sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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