it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
