he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My life is pants optional.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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