I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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