You really coming over, don't trick.
id be glad to
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
