hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize