I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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