He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
