he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
